Sunday, July 26, 2009

Jealous Thoughts...

Today marks the half way point for Freddy's AT. On the various forums that I frequent as well as with people I interact with everyday the question comes up "Does it get easier?" While he has not been deployed while we've been together, this is the 5th AT he's been on in addition to the random 2 - 3 week training courses he attends throughout the year. I can tell you it does not get any easier. The lonliness is still there. The weariness from being responsible for all of the things we normally share is still there. Even the kitties know something is not the way it should be.

Yesterday, I was walking behind a couple who couldn't detach themselves from each other to walk up the subway stairs. As a result they sort of stumbled up the stairs. Of course, my first thought was "For God's sake, it won't kill you to let go for the two minutes it takes to walk up the stairs!" Then the familiar twinge of jealousy set in. While they looked rediculous, they were still together.

Of course we all knew what we were getting into when we said "I do", as we are told by those who will never be able to share in the same experiences.

The following photo was sent to me as I was contemplating all of this the other night. My Army boy and his guidon.




BAOompa said...

I just stumbled on your site and had to leave you a comment. I know the feeling-completely. My husband is also ARNG and currently deployed over in Iraq until next June. But before he left on deployment he was away for training. In fact he has been gone for most of 2009. This is his second deployment to Iraq.

I just had to say that I understand that feeling. 100%. I too, have had people tell me "you knew what you were getting into"; as if somehow thats supossed to make it easier.

Hang in there. And tell your husband - thank you for serving. And also thank you to you too- you serve right along side him even though "not officially".

~ Tiffany